To be or not to be?

You ever get tired of trying to reach a dream, and just settle or come to terms with reality? It seems like I tend to slip in and out of this. To spend the money to "try" to have kids, or just save the money and go and do stuff that makes me and Allen happy.. It is the big debate I have with myself from week to week. Every time I settle to one side, I start seeing things to make me think otherwise. Having a baby would be sooo amazingly great.. but that means that I would probably not get to go on my dream moose hunt, or go on cruises with margaritas on the beach. My neighbors, who we really do love, have two kids, both boys. Somedays I would love to have their world, and I get jealous, but some days I think how would I survive with kids? What would happen to our yard, and my flowers. How would Missy take the kids? But, I know deep down that everything would be fine somehow.

Life seems to get harder the older you get, but at least you do acquire the wisdom to know not to do things a certain way again.

On the bright side, I have had a great vacation, even though we did not go anywhere. It was nice to spend time home together, actually eating supper every night together. It makes this week seem soooo depressing though.

This Saturday just wasnt that special for once.. knowing what Sunday would bring. I know next Saturday will be back to my favorite day of the week, even if this one was kind of sad.