Just Here

Our House Last Fall



So, today has been quite a day for me. #1 AF came by today! I am glad that we never did buy a HPT, so we saved ourselves some money and me feeling really let down from seeing another negative. Last night, I started a 3 week hour change at work. I am now going in at 1am, and leaving work at 7:30am. I usually go in at 11:30pm - 5am, bogus hours, but they work for me. I ended up being volunteered because our center manager did not want to cover for any of the people going on vacation. So, now, after 1 day of working with more than 2 people in the office and out on the belt, I have really seen how much I really appreciate my usual hours. I do not know how we can even keep some of our new help because of some of the old help that is just plain assholes to everyone else. Because of this, I am soooo happy to only have to deal with 3 people at night to work with, even though those 3 usually drive me bananas.

Allen hasn't had that great of a start of a work week either. One of the ladies that handles paychecks, was caught in a lie stealing $50 from him. AND, NO the owner of the place does not even care. This topic has been really heavy on our minds for the last 6 months. We need to find Allen a different job, where he can at least be home most of the week, and work for someone who is at least a half decent person, not "cough" HANCOCK'S.

This last part of this year has had our plates heaping over full. We have so much going on, and so much to worry about, that infertility has been moved from the front burner to the back burner on low. It seems like every week brings something else "wonderful". I am just ready for this slump to lift. I think everyone lately has been in a slump, mainly because of the economy. I wish something would happen, and make it just all snap into place. I'm sick of being tired of everything, maybe the holidays will help, or they will just add to all of the fun!

I am really just sick of being angry, tired, and fed up with everything. I want to be happy and enjoying life, not worried about what is coming next.

I mowed the yard tonight, and it felt soo great just to get outside and relax. I know most people do not find mowing a yard as relaxing, but it really is for me. Even if I look totally pissed off, it is not the mowing, it is usually what I am debating and thinking about when I mow. Mowing the yard lets me clear my head, and think things through. I get satifaction out of accomplishing a task at the same time and doing some good.

Something new is coming... that might be good. In a few days I can start taking my clomid, (clomiphene citrate). It is a fertility drug used to stimulate a woman's ovulation. I am not going to get all worked up this time.. this is my 2nd dose, 1st one this year. I think my approach to all of this has been too focused on "getting pregnant". I am trying not thinking about it this month while using the clomid. Maybe I'll have less stress not worring about if they will work or not. We will just ride this out easy and see what may come next month.

Today is the first day of Autumn, if you did not already know. It definately did not feel like it to me. Too humid this evening for my taste. I have even broke out the coffee pot for those nice cool evenings to sit on the deck, watching the deer, and enjoying my cup of coffee. It is soo relaxing to watch the sunset on a cool evening with a nice warm cup of coffee to make you feel warm and cozy with the nice chill in the air.